Crazy with Love
by NightRrain
Summary: Kagome has finally bumped her head and went crazy...literally. When Inuyasha chose Kikyo over her, Kagome went berserk. Falling down a cliff and whacking her head on a tree left her with only half of her sanity. She then vowed to make Inuyasha suffer with a partner. Both her and Sesshomaru plan to make Inuyasha and Kikyo suffer. But what they don't plan is... both falling in love.
1. Whack Makes the Head Go Black

Kagome paced back and fourth between two ancient trees. And while she paced, she mumbled to herself angrily continuously. And soon, her pace turned into an animal's wild tromping on the forest floor. Her mumbles grew louder and clearer and her hands fidgeted wildly. "I showed him love," she would say, "I gave him my love and he ignored it!" She gave a twirl, her heels shooting out dried leaves behind them like fire, "What does she have that I don't? She practically killed him! How could he still love her like that?" Once more she gave another twirl; shooting more leaves from her heels, "And why can't he love me like he loves her? I_ am_ her! So why choose the dead me instead of the alive me? He has no taste!" As she finished the last sentence she stopped her animalistic tromping for a second to spit at the ground with disgust. "That's what I should do to his face," she declared, "hit him right in the eye so hard, it'll leave him blind!"

No longer having control on her anger, she turned and began to kick one of the ancient trees. She kicked so hard at the tree that each time her foot made contact with the tree's body, pieces of bark would shoot out. But the tree got no more than a good couple of kicks when Kagome's foot began to protest in pain. She stopped the kicking and hopped on one leg while she held her other foot close to her chest. "Ow, ow, ow! Damn tree, damn foot, damn my life!" She cursed loudly.

And while she hopped on one leg while complaining of the pain, her hopping leg slowly began to walk. And her hopping led her to a nearby small cliff and the next time her foot hopped in the air, it didn't land back down on the forest floor. With a small shriek, Kagome slid the down the small cliff and rolled and tumbled into the ground. Her rolling and tumbling came to a halt when her head smacked right into a tree. Among its mossy roots her head was buried and unconscious. Moments passed when Kagome shot her head up from the green roots with moss sticking to the side of her cheeks and forehead. She blinked a couple of times and then a large smile drew itself along her face. Sitting on her legs, she tilted her head back and roared a laughter.

"Yes," she screamed into the air, "I will make him miserable just like he made me! Watch out Inuyasha, I am coming for you!" Laughing, she stood and ran to back to Kaede's village.

* * *

Running into the village, she made her way to Kaede's hut and burst in. With her unexpected entrance, Shippo screamed frighten as he tumbled onto his back. Not bothering to remove her shoes, Kagome skipped in giggling. And while skipping around her friends, Miroku, Sango, Shippo, and Kaede, she asked them, "Where is Inuyasha?"

"He is with my sister, Kagome." Kaede replied while looking at Kagome with confusion.

This made Kagome stop her skipping and giggling at once, with her face darkening. "Oh, is he?"

"Kagome, are you alright?" Sango asked her. Sango felt the pain Kagome felt when Inuyasha betrayed her and now her strange way of acting was making Sango feel uneasy.

"Very alright," Kagome replied and spun to Sango while raising her right hand, "I'm feeling very alright just like my right hand!"

Sango stared at Kagome for a few seconds and asked her again, "Are you sure?"

Kagome snapped her hand down and smiled at Sango, "Very sure. Now if you'll excuse me, I've gotta go find Inuyasha!"

And before one of her friends could stop her, Kagome skipped out of the hut. But she didn't have to skip too far when she came into contact with Inuyasha and Kikyo. Once more Kagome's skipping was stopped at once and her face darkened as she glared at Inuyasha and Kikyo.

Much closer now, Inuyasha was curious to know why Kagome smelled like moss and her own blood. "Hey Kagome, what happened to your head?"

Kagome tilted her head and knocked a couple of times on the right of her forehead with her knuckles. Goodness did it hurt, but Kagome didn't even flinch of pain or even felt the pain. "It got banged by a couple of trees, Inuyasha."

"Oh," Inuyasha replied quietly, not quite understanding. "Are you alright?"

"Does it look like I'm alright? I mean, I guess I must look like it, right? Yes, I'm very much alright just like my right hand." Kagome said showing her right hand once more.

At this, Kikyo started to feel a bit uneasy by Kagome's actions. Kagome would never use such a harsh tone with Inuyasha, let alone even talk so meanly to him while Kikyo stood beside him. "Kagome, let me check your head just to make sure you are alright," Kikyo offered.

But Kagome turned her head to Kikyo slowly. So slowly in fact, that if necks could creak her neck would have sounded like a creaky old door when it was being opened. Once fully facing Kikyo, Kagome hissed at her, "Stay away from me and don't you touch me with your dead and grubby hands!"

Kikyo gasped and backed away from her. Indeed something was very wrong with her. Kikyo knew Kagome didn't like her but even so, Kagome would never say such a thing to her! Not only did Kikyo gasp, but Inuyasha and Miroku and Sango and Kaede all followed suit.

"Geeze Kagome, what's your problem?" Inuyasha asked her while setting his hand on his sword.

Upon seeing this, Kagome twirled around and bit on her finger hard as she thought. There was no way in hell Kagome could make Inuyasha miserable, at least not alone. And none of her friends wouldn't even support and join in her fun to make him miserable. And if she did this alone, sooner or later Inuyasha would hack her head off with his sword because he made it clear that he chose to protect Kikyo, not her. Biting down even harder on her finger, she thought of who could help her. Kouga came to mind, but she would constantly be pestered by him. Naraku came second, but he was dead already! Shippo came third, but he was just a child still! And finally that perfect person came into her mind. Once more smiling widely, she released her finger and spun back to Inuyasha, who now stood with her backpack in hand.

"Kagome, you know I don't want you to leave. But, Naraku is dead and the jewel is safe with Kikyo. Not to mention you don't belong in this time. So...I think it's best if you just left home, Kagome, and never return."

Inuyasha's speech brought tears to Shippo's eyes and a loud gasp from Sango. "Inuyasha, she is our friend! She can't just leave like this! First you break her heart and now you're forcing her home to never return? You're destroying her!" Sango yelled at Inuyasha.

Inuyasha yelled back at Sango, "She doesn't belong here in this time! It's only natural that she returns to her real time and never comes back!"

Sango was about to protest again when Miroku stopped her. He gave some sense to her and finally agreeing, Sango gave a hard hug to Kagome. Crying, Sango told Kagome, "You were a good friend Kagome, almost like a sister to me. I promise I will never forget you, even till the day I die."

Kagome peeled Sango off her and turning, she snatched her bag away from Inuyasha's hand. Slinging the bag over her back, she pointed her finger into Inuyasha's face and said with no emotion, "Goodbye Inuyasha, but be warned that you haven't seen the last of me."

And skipping around him, Kagome hummed and sang while she skipped to the well. "Goodbye Miroku," Kagome said as she danced a twirl, "Goodbye Shippo and Kilala," and with one more twirl and a wave of her hand she sang, "Goodbye Saaaaango, my dearest sister!" And she continued skipping to the well while half humming and half laughing.


	2. A Tree is A Good Friend

Changing from skipping to a wild run, Kagome passed by the well without noticing it. There was no way in hell that she would be going home soon now. First Inuyasha breaks her heart, then he forces her home and she is not allowed to return? Oh, Inuyasha passed Kagome's line when he didn't allow her to return. This greatly infuriated Kagome even more, even beyond her boiling point! Running into the forest, she vowed another vow that she would most defiantly hurt Inuyasha. Even if in the process if she should die, her wretched soul would return to make Inuyasha's life a hell. To make Inuyasha's own sweet mornings and days into worst nightmares that he must live in day after day. Inuyasha's own life would be a nightmare; a great, terrible, bittersweet nightmare.

Running, she threw her head back and laughed at her great and terrible evil thoughts. She was over-joyed, knowing Inuyasha will suffer as well. Now it will not only be her own heart suffering alone, for Inuyasha would join her suffering heart as well. And if it was possible, Kagome would also bring Kikyo to suffer with her heart and Inuyasha. At this thought, Kagome still hung her head back as she roared out laughter and raised her arms into the air. But then, Kagome crashed into a tree. Kagome rolled on the floor grasping at her neck with a purple face. Getting on her knees, she coughed and gasped for air. Once she was a bit recovered, she remained on the ground trying to regulate her breathing as she mumbled, "I mustn't laugh when I'm running. No Kagome, I can risk killing myself like this. Then who will make Inuyasha and Kikyo suffer? _Me_, that's who will make Inuyasha and Kikyo suffer, _me_! _Me, me_, _**me**_!" And once more she threw her head back and laughed, but her laugh was cut short with a cough.

"Gah," Kagome screamed as she stood and stumbled over to the tree that she had previously made contact with. Fixing the bag on her bag, she stood among the peeking roots of the tree and stabbed her finger into it's bark. "You better watch yourself," she said sternly to the tree, "because you don't know me. I can purify your ass and there ain't nothing you can do about it, got it? I said, did you get it!"

But the tree said nothing in response. It stood there, silent and peaceful, with wind playing on its leafs. Closing one eye, Kagome stared down at the bark with one beady eye of hers, "Ha, so pathetic! You're so frighten you can't even talk!"

Kagome closed her beady eye and opened both of them. Laughing jolly, she patted the tree and said, "I was joking, you shouldn't be frighten! I can't purify a tree, in fact, I can't purify anything at all! Isn't that pathetic of me! Oh, and I bet that's another reason why Inuyasha left me; Kikyo can purify anything."

More wind rustled through the tree, now making the leafs swoosh and swish in there own language. Kagome nodded her head and patted the tree some more. "Yes, Inuyasha chose Kikyo over me, can you believe it? I should spit in his eye, don't you think, spit so hard it'll leave him blind!"

Now the wind played even harder on the tree, making some of it's branches crack and squeak. Kagome closed her eyes and nodded again and huffed up. "You're asking me? How the hell should I know why he chose something dead than something alive?" She set her hand on the bark again and once again patted it some more, "I think he has one of those weird fetishes, you know? Those fetishes that involve dead things."

The wind began to calm down, bringing the noises of the tree down. The swish and swoosh became quieter, as if they almost whispered. And then Kagome became tear-eyed and her bottom lip trembled. With a loud wail, she wrapped her arms around the large tree trunk and cried into it. "You know me so well! It's almost like were we friends for such a long time." And after a few minutes crying into the tree she whispered, "I love you..."

"Who? The tree or my idiot brother?"

Kagome gasped and released the tree. Whirling around, she let out a squeak of joy. "Lord Sesshomaru, you have come to aid me! Please tell me you'll help me?"

Not really sure of what the Miko in front of him was saying, he could care less because he helped no one. "No."

Kagome's happy façade fell. And just as she did, she threw herself onto her knees and cried into her hands. "I should have known! If Inuyasha was an idiot and a stupid dog, why shouldn't his older brother be as well? Not to mention meanness also runs in their family."

"Miko, you are truly pathetic and foolish. You cry and then you insult me? By now you won't even live another moment crying." Sesshomaru snarled at her.

By then Sesshomaru was a bit amazed as Kagome quickly picked herself up from the floor and ran behind him. Peeking from beside his fur pelt she said seriously, "You see Lord Sesshomaru, I plan to make Inuyasha suffer!" Then she switched sides, peeking on his left side, "Suffer so much, that his own life is a living nightmare!" Then Sesshomaru stared down at Miko who was then between his legs with her face staring up at him, "And I need your help accomplish it! Don't you want Inuyasha to suffer as well?" Then she was behind him once again. Her back to his and his back to hers, "Together we can defeat him! Together we can make him suffer and beg on his knees before us for mercy!"

Now Kagome clung to his knees, bottom lip trembling as her eyes squirted tears from them, "So, would you please help me?"

It took a moment before Sesshomaru responded, "You expect me to help a Miko who speaks to trees, insults me, then crawls around my body like a flea?"

"Yes!" Kagome screamed at him angrily then calmed herself, "I mean, it will bring us both joy and fun! Not to mention that there are many benefits from this!"

Kagome squealed as Sesshomaru kicked her off his leg. Sitting up, she saw the Demon Lord walk away from her. "I said no before, and my answer remains so."

But Kagome was upon him again indeed, just like Sesshomaru had described her; a flea. "You will finally get Tetsusaiga, the sword that you have always wanted most! If I somehow removed that sword from that barrier, then sure enough I can remove the sword's barrier and wha-la! You are then the most powerful Dog Demon ever alive! You will wield both Bakusaigi and Tetsusaiga then! So powerful, our powerful Lord Dog Demon. Can you just imagine it, Lord Sesshomaru? The power in your hands, your ability to rule anything you want, to have whatever you what, ultimate power-"

Sesshomaru removed Kagome from his fur felt and wrapped his hand around her throat. "You know, you talk to much," he told her, "you had my attention when you said you would break Tetsusaiga's barrier. But even so, Miko, it still won't please me enough."

Kagome removed his hand from her throat and said, "After Inuyasha dies or goes crazy from his suffering state, you can have his woman Kikyo!"

Sesshomaru gave a face so disgusted, that it seemed almost as if he was staring at a gigantic pile of feces right in front of him. Kagome smiled and huffed up a little as she said, "I knew I wasn't the only one who stared at her like she is a pile of-"

"Take our bargain serious, Miko."

Kagome sighed and slammed a finger at the corner of her mouth. And after one second she said to him, "Tell you what. I'll give you anything you desire. Even while we are causing Inuyasha to suffer, you can think of you want. And when Inuyasha finally dies or whatever, I'll give you what you want. And if I'm not able to keep promise, you can kill me and eat me!"

Sesshomaru sighed softly and looked down. Was it wise to embark in such a mission with this Miko? With this Miko that didn't seem to have all her sanity? But if he does embark on the mission, Tetsusaiga would finally be he his and indeed, he would be the most powerful Demon Lord ever alive. But he could think no further as Kagome's head was once more between his legs and staring up at him almost accusingly.

"Hurry up doggy boy, make up your decisions! I want to get to Inuyasha Punishment as fast as I can!" She said to him.

"What insolence you have Miko. Remove yourself from there before I exterminate you." He growled down at her.

With a squeak, Kagome was gone from between his legs and stood before him once more very seriously and held one hand out to him. "Deal, Lord Sesshomaru?"

"Deal." Was all Sesshomaru replied and walked around her, ignoring her hand shake.

Kagome let out a laugh and twirled. And she twirled and twirled and ran to Lord Sesshomaru and twirled some more.

"Stop it."

Kagome stopped twirling and decided to laugh evilly instead as she walked behind him.

"Miko, stop."

Stopping her evil laugh she began to hum then. But she was never a really good singer or a hummer, and her noises that protruded from her mouth scrapped the insides of Sesshomaru's ears. Stopping abruptly, it made Kagome crash into his back and stop her humming. Staring at her over his shoulder deathly he hissed at her, "Sing, hum, twirl laugh, or even whistle, you shall be killed. Do I make myself clear, Miko?"

Kagome gave a firm nod, "Clear as crystal water, My Lord!"

Satisfied, Sesshomaru continued his walk with a Miko behind him that constantly stopped before each tree to a have a small conversation with.


	3. Kagome's Lesson: How to Cook

Nightfall came, and Sesshomaru decided to stop for the night. He really didn't want to stop, as it was not his regular choice. Usually, he would continue until he fully reached his traveling friends. Jaken, Rin, and Ah-Un would just have to wait for his arrival patiently. But of course if it wasn't for the tired Miko, Sesshomaru would have met his traveling companions by midnight at the latest. Slowing his walk, he had seconds thoughts. But that second thought was removed from his mind as he fully stopped for the night for the Miko who now dragged herself from tiredness...Literally. Turning to the Miko who was dragging on the ground behind him he said, "Miko, we have stopped for the night."

Once those words hit Kagome's ears she smiled and shot up from the ground, not bothering to wipe off her dirt-covered legs. "It's about time, Lord Sesshomaru! Didn't you notice I was dragging myself for an hour now?"

Sesshomaru almost smiled as he replied, "Indeed I did notice, but I never thought you'd last so long dragging yourself like a maggot."

Kagome threw daggers at him for a minute or so as Sesshomaru settled himself underneath a young tree. Once settled, Kagome removed her eyes from him and began to run a circle around the small clearing. She ran so fast that every time she passed Sesshomaru air would blow his hair to one side. Staring at the Miko mystified, he demanded from her, "What exactly are you doing?"

"I have to run in circles so I may appease the God!" She replied so quickly as she passed him that he barely heard her words.

"Appease which God?" He asked very irritated.

"You of course! I believe that if I run in circles many times, it will please you so much that you will make me a campfire, find me food and sing me to sleep!" She replied while running.

And when she passed Sesshomaru again he stuck his foot out and tripped her, ending her retarded actions. "I will find you food and give you a fire, but you shall sing yourself to sleep, you wench." Sesshomaru spoke very angrily and annoyed as he stood to go find what the Miko wanted.

And once Sesshomaru was out of her sight, Kagome sat on her hunches and ripped an evil laugh from her throat. Laughing for a good three minutes, she finally stopped and went in search for a comfy spot to sleep in. But to every tree she went, either roots would be sticking out from the ground or large and pointed rocks would peek out from the ground. The only ground that seemed safe to sleep in was where Sesshomaru had been resting moments ago. Of course, Kagome had thought, Sesshomaru would sure find the best spots to rest for himself. Throwing her bag beside the young tree, Kagome set her sleeping bag on the smooth and comfy spot of Sesshomaru's. Once more humming, Kagome skipped around in circles in the small camp.

"You're back!" Kagome screamed happily as she spotted Sesshomaru in the distance some time later. But Kagome's happiness left her as Sesshomaru smacked a deer leg in front of her feet. Kagome whimpered as she backed away from the disembodied leg and then squealed as blood oozed from it. And while Kagome stared at the leg horrified, Sesshomaru had made a fire in no less than one minute. And seeing as his spot was taken by the wench, his gulped his anger down and went to sit to a nearby tree where it the less the roots and jagged rocks. Still though, it was not as comfortable as his last chosen spot.

"Just curious, what happened to the deer's body?" Kagome asked. But even with half of her sanity she could already imagine his reply. His reply would be that he simply spotted a deer with it's foe, ran up to it in demon speed, and ripped away one of its back legs and left the deer to survive with only three of it's legs and its foe.

"I ate it."

Kagome thought he was lying. She just couldn't believe it, for he had no sign of blood on him what so ever! He was just as clean as before and it would be difficult not to get a very bloody animal's blood on his white clothing, hair, or face. Heck, even his hands and claws were clean! Shaking her head out of her thoughts, she decided it would actually be best not to ask for the truth. Giving one look to the leg before her, she gave a firm grunt and ran around in circles again.

Digging his claws into the tree behind him, Sesshomaru growled out, "What do you want now?"

"I must appease the God so it may cook me this leg. I don't have the slightest idea of-_oof_!" Kagome was tripped once more and this time, she had to spit dried leaves out of her mouth.

"Skin the damn thing and put it over the fire." Was all Sesshomaru replied as he closed his eyes.

Sitting on her butt with her legs stretched out before her, she looked at the leg quite mystified. But then a very large smile spread on her face, so large in fact it showed all of her teeth perfectly. She would cook this leg, yes indeed! Die if she might, but she would cook this leg! She is a master of cooking and this, this leg, would be so delicious that even the Gods themselves would come down from heaven to eat her food. Standing up calmly and for the first time dusting off her self from the dirt, she walked over to her bag and opened it. Sesshomaru knew the girl would get into a bloody mess. Forcing his mouth to talk, he would tell her to skin the leg down by the river. But it was too late. His mouth shut immediately as the girl ran with a knife above her head at the leg screaming like wild animal.

Kagome lunged at the leg and stuck her knife into it. Once the knife embbedded itself into the leg, Kagome let out a wild scream. Ripping the knife out of the leg, Kagome cut this and that, those and this, circling and stabbing, pulling and grabbing. With grunts and growls, with gasps and scowls, Kagome pulled and gripped at the skin. Blood splattered there and here and every where. On trees and on Kagome the blood stained, even on the Demon Lord who watched entertained. Finally, Kagome stood with the skin hanging from her hand and shrieked in victory so loud that Sesshomaru winced. Not finished Kagome flung the skin away, not seeing the skin smack into Sesshomaru's face. Quickly, she cut the meat away from the bone and ran to her bag.

Sesshomaru peeled the bloody skin away from his face as quickly as he could, gasping for fresh air. Standing to end the Miko's life, he suddenly sneezed...And sneezed and sneezed! Kagome was throwing her spices onto the meat wildly. Powdered peppered and black pepper flew into the air and into Sesshomaru's sensitive nostrils. Salt flew every where along with garlic powder. Sesshomaru sneezed and his eyes burned as he searched a way out from the horrible particles that flew in the air. And with Kagome's finale animal scream, the meat was cooking above the fire and the Demon Lord was no where in sight.

"Lord Sesshomaru?" Kagome called out. "Sesshomaru!" But her calls echoed back to her with no response. Scratching the tip of her bloody knife one her head, she wondered out loud, "I wonder what got into him? Oh well, I can't wait for my dinner!" She looked at the meat with hunger in her eyes as she sat before the fire to watch the fire lick at the meat with cracking sounds.

Soon, a very delicious smell began to whiff out through the entire forest.


	4. No, No, No, No!

The following morning, Kagome was down by the stream cleaning her little mess from last night. After bathing herself and washing her clothing, she now carefully cleaned her bloody sleeping bag so it will not get soaked too much. But after the 'cleaning', Kagome thought it would actually be best to buy a new one when she returned home. Folding and putting her sleeping bag away in her yellow bag, she now grabbed the knife to give it a nice wash. And since the blood had crusted upon it, it gave Kagome more job in cleaning it. Still though, she hunched over the river bank washing the knife.

Now, Sesshomaru stood right behind Kagome. Well, he actually hid behind a tree that was behind Kagome. Watching her clean the knife or even have a knife in her hand in the first place, just made the Demon Lord stay clear of her way. And then he began to wonder why his brother's wench was acting so...so...stupidly! If he knew any better, the Miko was actually very clever for her age. Yet though, here she is now acting in another word as Sesshomaru describes her, 'Insane.' Narrowing his eyes a bit, he decided the Miko owed him an apology. That bloody animal skin that smacked into his face did not do any wonders to his nose, eyes, and mouth. Stepping out from behind the tree, he strode over to her.

"Miko, I'm sure you are aware that you owe me an apology."

"Yes I know," Kagome replied surprisingly normal. "And I am sorry."

The demon Lord didn't know what to do. This human in front of him actually set him off, _a human_! It wasn't a godforsaken demon of fifty feet tall that actually managed to scared him a bit! It was nothing but a puny and pathetic human right in front of him!

"I mean, I wanted to save you some meat! But I was so hungry and you were no where in sight so I just ate the whole darn thing! I knew I should have saved you at least a crumb but I didn't. So I am very sorry Lord Sesshomaru."

Sesshomaru almost wanted to scream out in anger and in frustration. His left eye twitched along with the right corner of his mouth. Images flashed in his head about ripping away one of the girl's leg, skinning it in front of her, and smack the skin right into her face. But calming down quickly, he decided it would actually be best just to leave the damn apology alone. At least for now because the damn human girl didn't seem to have her head screwed on straight. Then Kagome stood and turned to Sesshomaru, with a shiny clean knife in hand. And when the sunshine made the knife glimmer, it made Sesshomaru's breath stick to his throat as he eye balled the knife and the girl with extreme caution.

Seeing Sesshomaru in this posture made Kagome laugh and jab the knife in his direction. "Are you afraid of me, Lord Sesshomaru?" She mocked him as he took a step back when she had jammed the knife in his direction.

"You're insane," Sesshomaru had finally spoken his thoughts.

"Maybe," Kagome said with a giggle and put the knife away. "Or maybe not."

* * *

No, the Miko was _definitely_ insane. She had managed for a moment back at the river to convince Sesshomaru she was not insane. But after they left the river and began their walk again, Kagome got into an argument with a squirrel. Amused, Sesshomaru did not say anything and observed the scene. And the argument was all about the pine cone the little critter held in his hands. Kagome had said that she wanted the pine cone and that she found it first.

Well Sesshomaru wouldn't argue with that, because indeed he had seen the Miko carry a pine cone in her hands for a while until it fell and the squirrel moved quick to grab it. Disbelieving, Sesshomaru slightly shook his head. Why in the world would he support an argument that is between a human and a squirrel?

Finally the squirrel gave one last angry chatter and turned to run. But Kagome shrieked as she quickly grabbed the pine cone in her hand, demanding that it was hers and she would have it back. Well upon doing this, the squirrel was also determined to have the pine cone for itself and latched its claws and teeth into her hand. Kagome screamed as she jumped and ran around the forest with a squirrel practically eating her hand. Still though, Kagome didn't even loosened her grip on the pine cone. Then a strong hand gripped her arm and in a second the squirrel was off her hand with no head. Kagome laughed in victory as she held the pine cone in the air with her bitten hand.

"What was the purpose of gaining the pine cone?" Sesshomaru asked her bewildered.

Kagome blinked and smiled as she held out the pine cone to him. "I felt bad that I had eaten all the meat so I was going to give you this pine cone so you can it eat! I mean, you eat pine cones right? I caught Inuyasha one time munching on a pine cone so I figured dog demons loved to eat pine cones!"

But Kagome let a cry as the pine cone was smashed on the top of her head. Whimpering she asked him, "What was that for?"

But Sesshomaru did not reply. In fact, he walked even faster than before and Kagome knew he was angry but what she didn't know was why? Rubbing the top of her head, big fat tears rolled down her cheeks. But just as quickly as the pine cone was smashed on her head, just as quickly she forgot the pain and ran to walk beside Sesshomaru. Rummaging through her back, she took out a bag that was opened and half full of potatoes chips. "OK, do you want some potato chips, Lord Sesshomaru?"

"No."

Another ruffle moments later. "Cheese popcorn?"

"No."

Another ruffle moments later, "Chocolate chip cookies?"

"_No_."

"How about some oatmeal cookies?"

"What part of no don't you understand?" Sesshomaru finally stopped and stared down at her angrily. "I don't want any of your human food!"

Putting the bag of cookies away slowly in her bag, with her eyes only she looked left and right, down and into his eyes again. She stuck her hand into her bag without looking and took out a bag of beef jerky. "Do you want beef jerky?" She asked him meekly.

"No, I don't want your beef jerky!"

"I also have teriyaki jerky, do you want some of that?"

He couldn't believe the human, she was relentless! "Ask me once more if I want food, Miko, and your life ends here." He said as he stared her down with a deadly look.

His look sent chills through Kagome's body and she understood quickly that she must stop. She shoved the bag of jerky back into her bag quickly and meekly looked him. Seeing that she finally understood, he released a sigh and continued his walk. If Sesshomaru knew any better, he'd say the Miko was just like a child. She was even worse than Rin. And speaking of Rin, Sesshomaru was a bit joyful to have smelled Rin and Jaken not far away. That meant that the Miko's attention would divert from him to Rin...At least that is what Sesshomaru was hopeful for.

Kagome followed Sesshomaru quietly now. And as she followed him she had already come up with some good plans to make Inuyasha suffer. She planned on telling him tonight or when he was a bit less angry towards her. Kagome felt horrible when ever the Demon Lord was angry at her. Smiling a little, she thought she could help him lighten his mood. Walking quickly towards his left side, she wrapped her arm into his arm at the bend of their elbows. But with a harsh push, Kagome landed into some bushes with a small scream.

"Don't touch me," Sesshomaru told her very severely.

"Yes, My Lord!" Kagome shouted proudly as she stood up from the bushes and ran to his side again. "So I was wondering, Lord Sesshomaru, have you got any ideas of how to make Inuyasha suffer? Because I already have some of my own!"

"Have you really?" Sesshomaru replied, almost already knowing what some of her ideas would be. Very silly, stupid, and little-thought ideas; horrible ideas.

"Yeah! Like one for starters is that we should kill Kikyo...again. And this time, kill her for good and get the other half of my soul returned to me! Or another idea would be that you have kidnapped me. I'm not stupid Lord Sesshomaru. He may say that he no longer wants me, but I know he still feels something for me and if something should happen to me he would feel guilty. And the last one is that we make him jealous. I'm sure that in the process of being so angry, you would be able to easily injure him and leave him crippled in a fight. Actually yeah, I want you to make him crippled for the rest of his life, Lord Sesshomaru!"

Make a demon crippled? Possible but difficult, Sesshomaru thought. And actually thinking about her previous ideas, Sesshomaru was surprised to find they had some good sense and results out of them. "Killing Kikyo first would not let you make Kikyo suffer like you want her to, Miko. But your last two ideas I must say, have a good sense in them." In fact, Sesshomaru stopped and turned to Kagome. He wanted to know why in times she was retarded and in others she was brilliant. Lifting her bangs with his hand, sure enough he found a fading bruise on her forehead.

"Tell me Miko, how did you manage to get this bruise?"

"I got into a fight with the trees and they ended up winning! While I fought to kick them away they hurt my foot! And then they dragged me down a cliff where they ganged up on me and beat me up! It was so horrible, Lord Sesshomaru!"

Sesshomaru stared blankly at the girl. He couldn't believe what he just heard. So translating in his head, Kagome was kicking the trees and in the process of it she hurt her foot. Then clumsily not watching she fell down a cliff where she came to a halt when her head made contact with a tree. And the contact of the tree to her head was enough to make Kagome's mind go half black.

"Why are you staring at me like I'm stupid or something?" Kagome asked him.

"Because you are." Sesshomaru released her and said to her, "Come, we have yet to arrive and decide which proposition we want."


	5. Either A Roasted Toad or An Iced Heart

Rin was confused. One moment Kagome was picking flowers with her and the next, she was gone. It seemed almost as if the meadow of flowers had swallowed her up. So Rin went about the tall meadow of flowers, searching for Kagome. She even called out to her but not once did Kagome ever reply or even appear. Rin new Kagome was a bit...not normal for the moment. Lord Sesshomaru had told her so, and to keep aware of the Miko's actions. But Kagome didn't seem dangerous to Rin, she actually seemed fun!

Then there was a rustle of grass. Spinning around, sure enough Rin saw a trail of grass moving as if a snake crawled breath it. It went from side to side and even once stopped with a loud curse. Rin giggled, knowing that Kagome had crashed with a boulder that peeked above a patch of tall flowers. But right after the loud curse, the trail of grass went around the boulder and continued its trail from side to side. "Kagome, what are you doing?" Rin asked her. But a response never came to her. Instead, the grass stopped moving abruptly. Tilting her head a little, Rin bounced to Kagome's direction. Once there, Rin kneeled beside Kagome who was on her hands and knees.

"Kagome, are you alright?"

Kagome let a small moan and replied, "I was chasing this cute white bunny! And the next thing I know, it went down this hole, right here!"

Looking to where Kagome was pointing, Rin giggled and replied, "It went home, Kagome. Are you hungry? I'm hungry. Let's go to Lord Sesshomaru and see if he can find any food for us!"

Kagome sighed defeated and stood. Dusting off her hands and knees, she followed Rin back to where Lord Sesshomaru stood surveying. After Rin told Sesshomaru they were hungry, he turned and left in search for food. Normally he would do no such thing, but his nose caught the scent of food far and close to the edge of the mountains and he would not send the girls on such a long trek. And Master Jaken seeing his Lord leave, turned an evil eye to Kagome and took his advantage.

"You stupid girl, why did you have to come with us? You're worse than Rin, and stupider even more. I have no clue why my Lord Sesshomaru puts up with you! If it were my choice, I would roast like a pig this instant!"

Rin gasped, "Master Jaken, don't say those things to Kagome!"

"And why shouldn't I?" Jaken screamed at her and scoffed, "She's so stupid, I bet she didn't even understand what I just said about her!"

Snapping her head towards Jaken with a deathly glare, she snatched him by the hem of his shirt and said hissing, "You said you were worse than Rin, even more stupider. And you have no clue why Lord Sesshomaru puts up with you. And if it were my choice, I would roast you like a pig this instant!"

"Your breath is even worse than a rotting corpse!" Jaken lied to show that he wasn't afraid.

Kagome gritted her teeth and screamed, "Why you little piece of shit! Think you are so smart, do ya? When Lord Sesshomaru returns, he'll find me and Rin stuffed of a 'Boiled Green Toad'! I'll peel you out your clothes, skin you, and boil you up with mushrooms and garlic! And-" But Kagome was cut short of her threat when Jaken smacked her over the head with his Staff of Two Heads.

"Serves you right," Jaken screamed in victory, "the nerve to touch a great demon such as myself."

And while Jaken laughed and skipped happily around, Rin was concerned. For Kagome was on her hand and knees again, hair covering her eyes, and ragged breathing escaping from her mouth and nose. She stood, slowly and shaking, and began to walk towards Jaken who was too busy dancing to notice her approach. And then she laughed, laughed loudly and deeply. Bending down, she snatched up Jaken again this time by one of his legs. She ripped the staff away from his hands and ran up to a tree. Rin was then stunned, baffled, and confused for the very scene that was happing in front of her; she didn't know what to do.

Kagome swung her arm back and fourth, smacking Jaken over and over again into the tree. Then she would stretch him, stretch him and stretch him and scrap him on the tree. By this point Jaken was crying for mercy and for his Lord. "If I'm to boil you," Kagome declared while stretching him again, "I must tenderize you so you can cook wonderfully in my stew. But as I'm seeing it," Kagome said while smacking him on the tree again, "you aren't becoming soft, let alone dying. So _**die** _and become _**soft,**_ you little pile of green shit!"

* * *

Sesshomaru returned with a variety of food, and this time he made sure he did not bring any food that needed to be cleaned or skinned. He brought only two fishes, wild mushrooms, and edible sweet flowers that he had seen Rin eat once and enjoy very much. But when he counted his group, he only counted two; Ah-Un and Rin. Rin was busy making a necklace from little yellow flowers while Ah-Un slept and snored softly. Handing the food to Rin he asked her, "Where is the Miko and Jaken, Rin?"

"Well," Rin began, "when you left, Master Jaken began saying very mean things to Kagome. And Kagome became so angry, she began smacking Master Jaken into a tree. Then she turned to me and said to close my eyes and I did. And when I opened them, her and Master Jaken were gone!"

"Gone?"

"Gone. Poof!" Rin said with her arms extending to her sides as she said _poof_.

And now the Demon Lord understood. In his return, he had seen a smoke rise above trees with meat cooking. He dismissed it because he thought it was another camp of humans. But now he was sure that it was the Miko cooking his servant. And exactly how long had he seen that fire...? His eyes widen a bit as he turned and went to that fire camp as quickly as he could. And the closer he got, the more screams he heard from his servant. Then fully bursting upon the camp, Jaken was strapped to a stick that hung over the fire and turned slowly. Jaken's body was as red as ripe, sweet, and plump cherries that still hung in the trees and shone like brilliant red jewels when the sun caught them. Pink warts and boils popped from his body and tears ran down his face which quickly steamed away.

"What have you done?" Sesshomaru roared at Kagome who was personally turning the stick over the fire that Jaken was strapped to.

"I know, I know," Kagome replied, "I also wanted to make a stew out of him! But he was so hard to tenderize, that I just decided to roast him instead!"

"She's crazy," Jaken screeched. "Mad, insane, stupid! Help me Lord Sesshomaru!"

With no hesitation, Lord Sesshomaru threw Kagome away and with a kick dropped Jaken away from the fire and onto the floor where some of his blisters popped. Jaken screamed even more when his blisters popped and then fell unconscious. Kagome sat on the floor and pouted, "You ruined my dinner. You better pick up that toad, wash it, and set it back over the fire."

"My servants are not to be your delicacies or for your pleasure to cook!" The Demon Lord said raggedly to the human girl who sat on the floor in front of him.

"Then I was doing nothing wrong!" Kagome defended herself. "You'd actually think I'd eat that thing? I was merely torturing him by roasting him! So pick that toad up, wash it, and set it back over the fire so I may resume my torturing and possibly...maybe also eat one of his arms."

"Miko, I will not have you in my company if you are threating my servants and not taking our bargain seriously. This is the only and final time I warn you. If another incident occurs such as this one, your life ends that very moment. Do you understand, Miko?"

Kagome pouted even more as she crossed her arms over her chest looking away and mumbled, "I understand, Lord Sesshomaru."

Turning, he walked over to Jaken who was still laying on the floor fully awake and weeping softly. "Stand Jaken, or I'll be the next to roast you." Sesshomaru warned him and gained a road by walking beside the river, so that the rushing noises of the water clamed his anger.

Hearing this, Jaken stood as quickly as he could without causing much pain to his pink body and painfully walked beside his Lord, snatching a giant leaf on his walk to hide his half-cooked naked body. Kagome stood and followed Lord Sesshomaru as well, but she dragged behind as she was disappointed that she didn't have a chance to at least eat one of the stupid toad's arm. And seeing one giant boil on Jaken's butt that peeked from behind the giant leaf as he walked, Kagome smirked and picked up a long stick. Using her teeth for a moment, she sharpened one of the stick's end to a fine point and thrust it at the giant boil. The boil immediately popped, making Jaken choke in his scream of pain. The pain also jerked his body to run forward so fast and hard, that Jaken crashed into the legs of his Lord and sent them both tumbling into the river. Seeing this, Kagome gave one quick look at the stick in her hand and threw it far away from her just before Sesshomaru resurfaced with a growl.

"Oh, this feels nice..." Jaken sighed happily as he resurfaced floating on his back beside Lord Sesshomaru, with the cool water removing the pain from his popped blister. But to Lord Sesshomaru it didn't feel nice and glaring at Jaken, he spotted a patch of blister on his pink stomach. And growling even more angrier, he landed a punch right on those blisters and made Jaken choke on the water as he screamed and then floated away down the river.

"See, you should have let me roasted him and this wouldn't have happened to you." Kagome told him very collected, as she was still a bit nervous that he would find out that this was her fault.

"I am _not_ in the mood for your jokes, Miko." He replied very aggravated as he began to climb out of the water.

"I'm just saying," Kagome said shrugging.

So Kagome stood there, watching the Demon Lord as he fumbled very angry with removing his armor and soaked clothing. But his soaked pelt was not helping whatsoever in trying to untie the small tie knots that held his armor on his body. And his building anger and frustration was also not helping either. When he was just about to give up, Kagome offered to help. With his guidelines of where the ties were, the armor was off his body and in his hand. Finished, Kagome stood back and then noticed his wet clothing. Feeling it was not right and knowing that he might catch a cold, which she presumed, went underneath his arms which were busy shaking the water off the armor before the metal could rust and began to remove his outer kimono shirt.

"Miko, I will not get sick if that is what you are thinking." He told her while ignoring her.

"Are you sure about that?" Kagome asked him, having almost removed his shirt completely.

"Sure." Sesshomaru replied and shrugged off his pelt so Kagome could fully remove his shirt. Kagome removed his shirt and caught his pelt as well before it hit the dirt floor.

"Are you sure you're sure?" Kagome asked him again, slinging the wet clothing over her shoulder.

"I'm sure I'm sure." He replied with a bit of annoyance.

"Are you sure that you're sure that you're sure?"

He looked at her, "I'm sure that I'm sure that I'm sure that I will kill you if you ask me again if I am sure."

"Alright, if sure already," Kagome said shrugging. Then, she shook the pelt like she would shake a wet shirt at home. But it didn't turn out as she thought it would. When she only gave the pelt one shake, the pelt shook itself quickly which sent another spray of water that soaked the Demon Lord again. Staring meekly at his glare, Kagome held the soft and dried pelt up to cover half of her face and said, "I dried it for you."

"Just set it over on that trunk over there and stay away from me." Sesshomaru said sounding hopeless.

Sighing, Kagome did as she was told. And after a time when she was almost done drying his shirt the best she could, her arms went limp with her hands still gripping tightly at the shirt and her face darkened and became angry. Catching sight of her like this, Sesshomaru was baffled until he understood it himself. His brother and dead woman were coming straight them.

"Bastards, I hate them..." She hissed quietly and venomously.

"Quick, bring me my clothing Miko." He demanded.

Walking slowly and angrily to hand him back his shirt, her anger and dragging feet made her foot get caught underneath a rock. The rock dislodged itself, but the harm was done already as Kagome lurched forward and crashed into Lord Sesshomaru's arms. "Miko."

"_What the hell, Kagome! Sesshomaru!"_

Even in his warm arms and chest, Kagome could feel herself becoming cold with hatred and anger as Inuyasha's voice rang in her ears.


End file.
